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| "A good laugh is like good sex. An act that unites two beings as one" (Irma Kurtz) |
When it comes to making a relationship last, there's a lot of really easy and straightforward things you can do. From improving communication, to understanding nobody is perfect and finding a common ground seem to be the key to make it work.
It could be a busy time at work, raising children or simply going through personal changes. At some point, you suddenly realize you and your partner have lost common ground. Thank God there's a lot you can do to improve things and save your relationship. Many are so simple it's mind-boggling. Many more you already knew, but somehow simply forgot (how and when) to put in practice.
Welcome to Week 2 of Relationship Advice with suggestions from Cosmopolitan's Irma Kurtz on how to make your love last.
"Forget trouble for a little while and laugh together. A good laugh is like good sex: spontaneous and uninhibited and an act that unites two beings as one. It’s worth going out of your way to have a good laugh, especially if things have been rocky. Go to a place where you used to laugh or where there’s a good chance of laughter. That moment when you exchange a look and end up laughing, often over a shared memory, is the best way to understand each other again. It can be pretty sexy in bed too – as long as you’re laughing together."
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| "Shut up and listen! Things can be resolved by learning to listen" (Irma Kurtz) |
"Shut up and listen. No matter how bad things are, give your partner a chance to speak. Given silence in which to speak or rant, they’ll say more than they meant to – even more than they knew they were thinking. It can be surprising and revealing and paves the way for honesty. We tend to jump in with an opinion before we have heard each other out. Don’t scream, keep your cool: it makes a big difference. So often, things can be resolved by learning to listen."
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| "Suspicious? You don't need evidence. You need a conversation" (Irma Kurtz) |
"Don’t snoop. If you’re tempted to check your partner’s inbox or online history, stop, talk to yourself (whatever the psychologists say, it’s good for you). Ask, “Wait a minute, am I doing this because I think my partner is up to no good?” If so, have it out with him or her – you don’t need evidence, you need a conversation. Suspicion needs healing. The internet is a great place for expressing wishful thinking – but it’s important your partner is able to talk to you about those feelings."
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