Relationship Advice: Time to Accept Change and Differences

"A good relationship is about navigating the numerous differences between you" (Kate Figes)

Part of my 2015 resolutions is paying a lot more attention to my relationship, instead of my career life, which really took focus last year. So ladies expect to see more relationship advice articles, because sometimes we all need to be reminded the simple things that can make our relationships meaningful. We tend to forget the little things that make our partner feel special. Rushing to be wonder women we often don't have the time to come to terms with our feelings and enjoy meaningful moments with our partners. 

I will share some of the relationship advice articles that have really helped me better understand myself and improve aspects of my relationships. I hope you read them just at the perfect time. I do believe the universe gives us the solution just at the right moment.

I thought the best way to start this series is with a some relationship advice from author Kate Figes, author of 'Couples: How We Make Love Last' and 'Our Cheating Hearts: Love and Loyalty, Lust and Lies' provided for an article in The Telegraph UK (full article on this link).

"Enjoy what others have to offer rather than trying to change them to fit your template" (Kate Figes)

"Don’t expect to be one and the same. One of the more ridiculous myths about “true love” is the idea of the soulmate – that there is someone out there who is your perfect match. A good relationship is about navigating the numerous differences between you ... It’s those differences that make life more interesting, as our lover opens up a whole new way of seeing or understanding the world. Enjoy what others have to offer rather than trying to change them to fit your own template of how life and love should be.

Accept that your partner is fallible. Expecting someone to be everything you need and everything you are not is a recipe for disaster. We all make mistakes, particularly in our love-lives, as relationships are never easy. But if you can exercise forgiveness in small ways at the start of a love affair then you’re more likely to find ways to forgive the bigger hurts and transgressions, if and when they happen.

"There are good rows and bad rows, but make no mistake - everybody argues" (Kate Figes)

Learn to talk about “why”. There are good rows and bad rows but make no mistake – everybody argues. Ridiculing or humiliating each other is not a good idea, or a good omen. But if you can both talk honestly about what irritates or upsets you and why, you are more likely to understand each other better. It can feel easier to avoid being honest if we feel that could be hurtful, but it is only with honesty that trust is built, and trust is the essence of a good relationship.

"Accept that sex changes" (Kate Figes)

Accept that sex changes. There are different qualities to sex at different stages in a long relationship: first, passion; the urgency of reproductive sex; snatched sex in the early years of parenthood; then the slower intimacy of midlife onwards. But our culture presents only one type as being valid: youthful, vigorous, usually penetrative. It is possible to maintain a happy sex-life for decades with the same person. It may not be as often, or the sort of sex that you think you should be having, or think others must be having (but aren’t) – just relax and enjoy this special kind of intimacy together."